You can feel the dirt, heavy on the end of your shovel. You’ve been lifting piles for a while now. Your back tightens as you dig a bit deeper, tossing another shovel load. When you mess up, and you will, how will you make things right? First John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” But that’s you and God stuff. You’ve dug yourself into the dark with your kid now. Wait, what’s the rule when finding yourself in a hole again? #1 Stop digging. Find a way to calm down. Yelling and pointing your kid to God doesn’t help. Walk away, listen to music, or review screenshotted Bible verses on your phone. Just don’t deepen the hole. #2 Drop the shovel. Admit wrong, minus any excuses. Resist saying, “…you weren’t listening, so I…” No, the words are, “I’m sorry I was a jerk/rude/whatever.” #3 Get out of the hole. Ask for forgiveness. Say “Will you forgive me?” Then stop talking. You’re no longer in control. Remember: what you do after messing up is a pivotal moment for pointing your kid to God instead of yourself.

MAKE DISCIPLES THROUGH YOUR KIDS: Making disciples is not a task left for professional ministers with seminary degrees or missionaries serving across the ocean. Jesus told each of us to follow His example by making disciples as we walk through the everyday events of life. That includes using our roles as fathers to raise a new generation of disciples who will become disciple-makers. With God’s help, you can make disciples under your own roof. We’re offering six ideas for how you can get started on that today.

REFUSING TO LET FAILURE GET THE BEST OF YOU: In the game of baseball, even the most successful batters fail almost 70 percent of the time. But the good ones never let that get them down. They just keep swinging, working to make the most of the other 30 percent. Sometimes as a dad, we just have to keep swinging even though we might be striking out. But the truth is, the perfect father is a fantasy. The perfect husband is a myth. You’re going to make mistakes as a man. You’re going to swing and strike out more times than you’d like. Thankfully, genuine manhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about doing your best every time you step to the plate—and learning from the times you fail.

“The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works.” —Augustine

“What is done cannot be undone, but at least one can keep it from happening again.” —Anne Frank

“I know for me, going back to the person I’ve bad-mouthed or lied to is absolutely humiliating! But isn’t it interesting that “humiliating” has the same root word as “humility”? Part of humility is taking responsibility for my sin and asking forgiveness even when it doesn’t feel good. God wants to heal and restore your relationships, but it’s not easy.” —Chip Ingram

“Forgiveness is always free. But that doesn’t mean that confession is always easy. Sometimes it is hard. Incredibly hard. It is painful to admit our sins and entrust ourselves to God’s care.” —Erwin Lutzer

God = control. You, not so much. Think about your last mistake. Did you make it right? I don’t mean you bought ice cream, smoothed things over, and never mentioned what happened. Take time and walk through these steps this week. Get specific about your mess up. “I was wrong when I did X. Will you forgive me?” Resist “if/but”—you can’t say, “I was wrong, but you were being bad…” or “…if you would’ve just listened, then…” Forget if and but. Use these steps early and often. Eventually, you might not be so quick to grab the shovel.

Kent Evans
Author of Bring Your Hammer, co-founder of Manhood Journey

P.S. Was this Mountain Monday helpful? Tell me if you love it, hate it, or if there’s something you’d like in the next one.

Forward this to a dad you know who needs some encouragement.