If you’re a husband (or hope to become one), you’ve probably wondered how you can make your wife happy. After all, we’ve heard that a happy wife equals a happy life.

But happiness is only part of that equation. 

You also need to learn how to make your wife feel special. You need to nurture a lifestyle that lets her know that she is appreciated—not just for what she does, but even more for who she is.

In fact, you have a God-given responsibility to help your wife become the best version of herself imaginable. To do that, you’ve got to identify ways to make her feel appreciated. 

Love Like Jesus

Scholars disagree on the marital status of the apostle Paul. But, whether Paul was married or not, God inspired him to give us the most extensive teaching on Christian marriage in the Bible. In Ephesians 5, he painted a vivid picture of the roles of wives and husbands because, ultimately, marriage is a picture of God’s love for His people.

In this biblical commentary on marriage, Paul gave husbands an important command: “Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The first step in learning how to love your bride better and to make her feel special is to love her like Jesus loves His bride, the church. 

That means sacrifice. Jesus didn’t just talk about loving His people. He gave His life for us. He died to pay the price for our sin and to establish a way to salvation. Through Him, God provided an indescribable gift (2 Corinthians 9:15).

That kind of sacrificial love is the starting point for making our wives feel appreciated. 

5 Steps To Make Her Feel Special

Of course, it’s a lot easier to talk about “love” than to put it into practice. But if we’re committed to loving our wives better and to making them feel special, we’ve got to put our best intentions into action. 

To that end, here are five steps you can take to help your wife feel appreciated. These are basic ideas that guys miss far too often, ideas that will help you love your wife better and remind her just how special she is.

Always put her first . . . behind God.

The first two commands God gave Moses on Mount Sinai ensured cheap imitations don’t usurp His rightful place (Exodus 20:3-6). The next two challenge us to honor His name and His day (Exodus 20:7-8). So, God should be our top priority in life. But the next person on your list has to be your wife.

And let’s be clear: She is not “second among equals.” If you’re going to love her like Jesus loved the church, nothing and no one on earth stands between you and her. When God created Eve, He emphasized to Adam that all other relationships took a backseat to his new spouse (Genesis 2:24). God’s design for marriage hasn’t changed. If you want to make your wife feel special, never leave her wondering where she stands.

Pray for her.

God has woven many special blessings into the fabric of godly marriages. One of your greatest privileges is praying for your wife on a regular basis. It’s a gift she will never forget because it’s a gift that will show her just how much you appreciate her.

As the spiritual leader in your home, praying for your wife (and kids) should be standard operating procedure. But if you’re not sure where to start, simply ask her. She will let you know, and she will appreciate the effort. Along with that, don’t hesitate to pray with your wife, letting her hear your words to God on her behalf. Those times together will strengthen your marriage and leave her feeling special.

Never stop courting her.

While all of us are created in God’s image, we’re also unique. Still, one thing humans have in common is the desire for attention. Sure, it can be taken to unhealthy extremes; but, in general, we just want someone to acknowledge our value and to spend some time getting to know us.

When you were dating your wife, you probably had little trouble showering her with time and attention. It was your mission in life to make her feel special. Now, even though the vows have been spoken and the rings have been exchanged, you still need to pursue her. Remind her that she is valuable and appreciated. Keep dating her and doting on her. Let her know that you’d say “I do” all over again.

Talk to her . . . and listen even more.

As marriages transition from days to months to years, two things begin to happen. First, guys start talking at their wives instead of talking to them. They focus on sharing information for their wives’ heads instead of fostering inspiration in their wives’ hearts. Second, guys start tuning out what their wives have to say. They get distracted, which allows their minds to wander. 

Part of the focus on time and attention involves communicating well. That means listening more than you speak. You need to really zero in on what your wife is saying and asking questions to clarify what you’re hearing. If you want to love your wife better and make her feel appreciated, you’ll up your communication game. It might not come naturally, but you won’t regret it.

Do things for her . . . even when she doesn’t ask.

Sometimes, guys are tempted to think that no one juggles as many tasks as we do. But, if we’re honest, none of us would swap places with our wives for a day! We forget how much they really do, especially behind the scenes.

So, when you can, show your wife how much you appreciate her by scratching something off her to-do list. Be intentional about looking for ways to serve her; and, like prayer, don’t be afraid to ask if you’re not sure where to start.

I Trust You

Like a lot of dads, I will never forget the day that I walked my daughter down the aisle. It was a special moment for both of us—and for the nervous young man waiting at the altar. 

Once I acknowledged that “her mother and I” were giving her in marriage, I planted a light kiss on her cheek. Then I shook hands with my soon-to-be son-in-law and whispered three little words that he will never forget—in part because I remind him of them every so often.

I trust you.

I wanted him to know that he had my blessing and that he could count on my support and encouragement. But I also wanted him to know that she would always be my “little girl.” I would hold him accountable for protecting her and providing for her.

In a sense, I think God says the same thing to husbands. In His grace and generosity, the Lord has given each of us a gift beyond all measure. Our wives are not just our “better half.” They are treasures for a lifetime. And as we vow to stick with them through thick and thin, God whispers in our ear, “I trust you.”

He trusts us to love our wives as He loves the church. He trusts us to protect them and to provide for them. He trusts us to help them become the best version of themselves. He trust us to make our wives feel special, to feel appreciated in a world that will try to tear them down.

As you start identifying how to make your wife happy, let God’s words ring in your ears and in your heart. He trusts you. Make her feel special.