When you hear the term “father-son Bible study,” a world of images probably runs through your head. And, to be fair, many of them could be negative. I get that.
On the one hand, you may assume that you don’t have the theological chops to teach the Bible. On the other hand, you may assume that your son would rather wrestle a hungry bear than join a father-son Bible study. Worst of all, you might be afraid it would be boring—for both of you.
Well, before you dismiss the idea out of hand or add another brick to your wall of excuses, take a minute to think about the benefits of doing an ongoing Bible study with your son.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
The Benefits of a Father-Son Bible Study
In any situation, it’s easy to default to the things that could go wrong. That’s human nature. But when it comes to a father-son Bible study, you need to focus on what could go right.
For example, this would be a great way to fulfill your God-given role as your child’s primary spiritual mentor. We’ve said before that Christian education really starts in the home, and dads are the focal point of that mission. Along with that, if you’re doing what God has called you to do as a father, you can be sure of His blessings.
This is also a chance to spend time with your sons and relate to them in a different way. While we are talking about a father-son Bible study, you can also treat it as two guys hanging out and learning from one another. After all, adopting the mantle of “friend” does not require surrendering the mantle of “dad.”
Finally, a Bible study with your sons gives them a template for the future. One of these days, they may find themselves in the role of father to their own sons. Remembering what you did for them and how you led them well just might encourage them to continue the tradition with their boys.
5 steps for getting started
Hopefully, you’re starting to warm up to the idea of a father-son Bible study. If so, that’s great. To provide some further encouragement, I offer these five tips for getting a father and son Bible study up and running.
1. Talk to your sons.
Before you jump into the Bible study idea, lay some groundwork. Spend time getting to know your son as a person. Talk about what’s on his mind and his heart. Dig into his victories and his struggles. During these times, listen more than you talk. The opportunities for teachable moments will come soon enough.
Honestly, this is stuff you should already be doing as a dad. If you are, keep it up. If not, this is a great time to start. Either way, you can learn a lot, and you’ll get some great insights about your father-son Bible study.
2. Talk to other guys.
As guys, we tend to make things more difficult than necessary. We reinvent the wheel when there’s a perfectly good wheel right in front of us. When it comes to starting a Bible study with your son, it’s fine to see what others have done.
If you have friends who have done Bible studies with their boys, don’t be shy about picking their brains. Identify their best practices and see how those steps apply to your situation. You don’t have to copy everything, but you might discover a spark that ignites a fire.
3. Choose a curriculum—or not.
Many great Christian publishers produce great Bible studies for fathers and sons. A quick internet search can help you plug into a long list of possible options. For example, Manhood Journey offers 1 on 1 studies that cover a variety of topics.
But don’t feel like you have to dive straight into a particular curriculum. It might be best for you and your son to start with just the Bible. As options, you could study a book of the Bible together or follow a Bible reading plan and use a weekly meeting to talk about what you learned. The key is not to complete some curriculum. The key is spending time together in God’s Word and learning how to apply it to your lives.
4. Set a regular time and place.
Starting a father-son Bible study will only work if you make it a priority. And that begins with setting a time and place you will honor. This step makes things more real, and it holds you accountable—which is not a bad thing.
One idea that many men use is sharing one meal a week outside the house. It could be a fast-food joint, your favorite pizza place, or a sit-down restaurant. Again, the location is not as important as the commitment. But talking about the things of God while “breaking bread” is a time-honored part of the Christian experience (Acts 2:46-47).
5. Be transparent and trustworthy.
Once you’ve got your plan, your time, and your place established, it’s time to go. Again, don’t worry about being a Bible expert. Just focus on being a guy on a journey with another guy. Share your heart and encourage your son to do the same.
Most important, remember that Bible studies—including father-son Bible studies—are built on trust. Make sure your son knows that what is shared will stay between the two of you if at all possible. If you hear something that does need to be shared with your wife or carries a legal obligation (like abuse or criminal activity), let your son know that you will be sharing it because it’s in his best interest.
Teaching sons, raising men
Sometimes, verses like Ephesians 6:4 leave dads feeling guilty. We linger on not provoking our kids to anger and miss the second half of that verse. We don’t focus on how to raise them up to know and love God well.
Starting a father-son Bible study will fulfill both halves of the Ephesians 6:4 mandate. You will build a healthy relationship that isn’t prone to anger, and you will be teaching your son what it means to be a genuine Christ follower. As I once heard a preacher say, you won’t just be teaching your son about God. You’ll be raising a godly man.
As a father, that’s all you can ask.
