I’ve spent more than three decades serving as a lay leader in student ministry. I love seeing the lights come on when a spiritual truth takes root in a teenager’s heart and mind. But I’ve also learned a lot about parents during those years.
The most important thing I’ve learned? Every parent wants to raise successful kids. No parent worth their salt intentionally sets their children up to fail. They are hungry to identify effective strategies for raising successful children.
If you’re reading this article, I’m assuming you’re one of those people. You’re a dad who loves God, loves his kids, and wants to see them experience God’s richest blessings.
I know that feeling because I’ve walked where you’re walking. In fact, while all three of my children are now adults, I still want them to be “successful kids.” I want them to honor God in all they do, love their spouses and kids well, and make positive contributions to society.
That doesn’t mean I’m an expert. It means I’m a fellow traveler.
What is a successful kid?
I’ve never tried it, but I’m guessing you could ask 10 people what successful kids look like and get 15 different answers. Friends, family members, church leaders, and the internet all have suggestions for making sure your child becomes successful. So, how do you know if you’re helping your son or daughter move in the right direction? How do you know if the leadership you’re trying to provide in your home is working?
As I said, I would never claim to have all the answers, but I can point you to a Scripture that has helped me navigate this path. Luke 2 begins with the familiar story of Jesus’s birth. Later, it recounts His experience in the temple at the age of 12, discussing deep theology with religious leaders. Then, in verse 52, it describes how Jesus matured toward adulthood: “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people.”
If you’re wondering how to help your children become successful in life, I think this verse is a great place to start.
Four points of emphasis
Luke identified four areas where Jesus matured as a young man. Now, it’s worth remembering that, as the Son of God, Jesus probably “grew” in these areas differently than we do or our kids will. He was perfect and sinless. Still, the writer of Hebrews emphasized that He experienced everything we do (Hebrews 4:15). So, to some extent, He had to grow in these areas just like us.
So, with that caveat, let’s see how these four areas might apply to your kids’ success. First, Luke said Jesus grew in wisdom. This is more than intellectual knowledge. This is the ability to make good choices. The Old Testament consistently equates wisdom with choosing God’s ways (see Proverbs 1:7). So, as a parent trying to raise successful kids, you need to remind them that God’s plan is best. You also need to provide a positive example so they can see what trusting God in the everyday decisions of life looks like.
Second, Luke pointed to Jesus’s growth in stature. This involves our physical health. Thanks to sin and our broken world, all of us are moving toward the grave. But you can challenge your children to maintain healthy habits that will help them feel better and reduce stress in their lives. Remind them that exercise is a great way to burn off anxiety and anger. Plus, they will get more done when they feel better.
Third, Jesus grew in favor with God. If I had to highlight one of the four areas as most important, this would be it. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image (Genesis 1:27) and with an innate desire to connect with Him. Since sin broke the fellowship of Eden, God sent His Son to provide salvation. The fact is, we can’t raise successful kids apart from this spiritual dimension. Your child might wander into “success” according to the culture’s standards, but it will ring hollow unless they learn to pursue God first in their lives.
Finally, Luke listed Jesus’s relationship with others. This relates to our social skills. In Matthew 22, a religious leader asked Jesus about the most important commandment. The Lord started with loving God completely (spiritual growth, vv. 37-38). But He also included loving others (v. 39). While we are created in God’s image, we also are created to connect with other people. Teach your children to serve others well, to be careful about their friendships, and to lean into the wisdom of mentors who will point them toward success.
But wait . . . there’s more!
As a dad trying to find some strategies for raising successful kids, you can adopt a few habits that will make the process easier. As mentioned earlier, you can set the example in each of the four areas Luke mentioned. As the spiritual leader of your home, it’s your responsibility to teach by doing, not just by saying. So, make sure that you’re taking practical steps toward growing in wisdom, stature, favor with God, and favor with others.
Next, examine your parenting style. I boil parenting styles down to two types: authoritarian and authoritative. The first tries to dominate kids through sheer power and will. The parent demands obedience to an external standard (the rules) without question or discussion. The second exerts authority through relationship. It respects boundaries, but it also focuses on developing internal standards (character). Obviously, authoritative parenting is preferable, but it doesn’t come naturally. Prayerfully determine how you’ve been leading as a dad and make any adjustments God reveals.
Finally, reinforce a child’s positive behavior. Every child is different, but one common characteristic is the desire for affirmation. So, when you catch your child doing what’s right—what aligns with the biblical definition of a successful kid—shower them with praise. Of course, you need to correct them in a loving way when they fall short; but celebrate the milestones you see.
Little wins along the way will help you finish the parenting marathon strong and raise successful kids.
