My life took an unexpected turn when I learned I would be the father of twin girls. In the midst of my anticipation and anxiety, I encountered a mentor who would profoundly impact my journey into fatherhood.

As the twins’ due date approached, I was overwhelmed by excitement and anxiety. The responsibility of nurturing and guiding two new lives seemed daunting, but nobody ever taught me how to find a mentor. Thankfully, I connected paths with Drew, a more seasoned dad, and compassionate mentor I could relate to. His wisdom and support were keys to unlocking wisdom, especially when navigating pregnancy and fatherhood.

Finding a great mentor can change the trajectory of your fatherhood, career, and entire life. Here are four moves to consider when thinking about how to find a mentor. 

How to Find a Mentor by Writing Down Goals

Listing my fatherhood goals allowed me to see the type of father I wanted to become. If you and I don’t list our goals, it’s challenging to seek mentors who can get us there. For example, if I had a goal to become a great fisherman, I probably shouldn’t ask for advice from a guy that’s never gone fishing. When on the road how to find a mentor, know your goals so you seek the right mentors. 

Identify the mentor traits you’re looking for

Getting a mentor that’s a good fit with your personality, schedule, and interests can be tricky. However, knowing which character traits you’re looking for makes the mentor search easier. Consider these questions:

  • What experience do you want your mentor to have for you to learn from?
  • What sort of time commitment do you need from your mentor?
  • Does your mentor’s cultural background matter to you? 
  • Which values are non-negotiable for your mentor to have? 
  • What attitudes are you hoping your mentor brings to the table?

Locate potential mentors

Locating potential mentors can come through various streams. From my perspective, the streams branch off in two main ways: existing networks and online opportunities. 

Existing networks: Consider reflecting on the community you are surrounded with to identify if anyone meets the traits you’re looking for. Further, ask individuals from your current community for recommendations on possible mentors they know and trust that align with your interests.

Online opportunities: Online, the opportunities are endless, with potential mentors publishing their work, uploading content, and showcasing their businesses. Often their contact information is readily available for you to make a move and reach out, seeking mentorship from them. 

Reach out and connect

Once you locate a potential mentor, find a way to get in touch. This could be through email, social media, or professional networking platforms like LinkedIn. Make sure to personalize your message and explain why you specifically admire their work or character and believe they would be a great mentor for you. Talk about your goals and what you hope to achieve through the mentorship. It’s essential to show your commitment, motivation, and enthusiasm for learning from them. 

Be prepared for the conversation if your potential mentor agrees to meet or have a call. Be prepared with specific questions or topics you would like to discuss. Show your genuine interest in their expertise and actively listen during the conversation.

We don’t have to make all the mistakes 

Pursuing the journey of how to find a mentor didn’t make me a perfect dad, but I’ve made far fewer mistakes by connecting with Drew. He showed godly principles and wisdom through practical ways I could use on my fatherhood journey. 

A mentor can offer guidance rooted in biblical teachings, providing you with valuable insights and accountability in your role as a father. By submitting to a mentor’s leadership and actively seeking to grow in their understanding of biblical fatherhood, you can gain wisdom and support, enabling you to make wiser decisions, avoid pitfalls, and cultivate a nurturing and loving environment for your children. 

There are tons of mistakes we’ll all make as men, but we don’t have to make them all. Figuring out how to find a mentor doesn’t only improve your life but the life of your family and the generations to follow. 

Not sure where you’re headed as a Godly Father? Take the Godly Dad Quiz to see now.