“Hey! Hey! Listen to me and do what I say!” Ever say (or scream) something like that at your kids? If so, congratulations, you’re a dad, but that doesn’t mean you know how to be a leader. Let’s not be dads that lead with words only, but ones who lead by example. Let’s live homelives that give us the privilege to say, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Here are 5 quick tips on how to be a leader for your family:
Be a follower.
That’s a contradictive first point, right? For instance, to be a leader, I must be a follower? Go on then, explain, Master Yoda. Without question, whether good or bad, you are a leader of your kids. The only question is, where are you leading them? Your words and actions should point them to the Heavenly Father (Matthew 5:16). Indeed, to lead others to Christ, you must follow the LORD’s lead. Therefore, to follow Jesus’ example, you must be aware of Who He is. And to know the Son of God, you must spend time with Him. To be a great leader to your family, you have to spend time in Scripture, allowing God’s Word to mold you into a godly leader. If you want to lead well, follow God. This is how you first set them off on the right path (Proverbs 22:6).
Be present.
Being in the same room or car with your kids isn’t the same as being with your kids. So, put your phone away, and then clear your mind of any lingering work stuff. Turn off all distractions and engage with your kids. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Play games. Help them with their homework. Get them to help you make dinner, clean up after dinner, or other work around the house. In fact, you have a limited amount of time with your kids living under your roof, and it goes by way too fast. Please don’t waste it scrolling through your phone. If you aren’t present for the time you have them, you’ll wish you were when they’re gone.
Be a safe place.
The world is a tough place that is only getting scarier. Make sure home is the safest place you kids know. For example, allow your kids to be kids inside the walls of your house. Give them the peace of mind that they don’t have to try and be anyone or anything they’re not with you because you love them no matter what. You are the leader they can confide in, open up to, and share who they are without fear or shame. Regardless of what’s going on in their school or social lives, home is always a refuge.
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Be fun.
Dads can have a stereotype of grumpy don’t-bother-me types. All we do is enforce the rules and say, “Stop doing that!” You weren’t always like this; you used to be fun. So, be fun again. Be silly. Tell dad jokes. Dance with your daughters. Wrestle with your sons. Play with your kids. This life is a gift God intends for us to live to the full (John 10:10). Show your kids how to have a good time.
Be Last.
The best way to lead your family is from the back. So, put them and their needs first. When Christ came to earth to lead His creation back to the Creator, He did it through service. Jesus told His followers, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Pour your life out as an offering to the LORD and your family. Make sure you are there to serve your family, not the other way around.
Lead your family with no regret.
As a dad, you’re a leader. Therefore, put effort into filling that role well. With the help of the LORD (and your wife), you’ve created some followers that live in your house—your kids. Be the kind of dad who can confidently say, “Follow me,” because you know you are leading them closer to Christ.
