When I discovered I would be a new dad of twin girls, I knew it would be a beautiful yet challenging song to play. Though I’m further through the music of being a dad of newborns, I still rely on three timeless chords that have guided me on how to be a better dad to my daughters each day.
3 Things Daughters Need From Their Fathers
1) Prayer and Time with God
Psalm 145:18 – “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth”.
When I was getting ready to be a brand new dad, I received constant advice to always pray for my girls. To be honest, I imagined my eyes rolling to the back of my head each time I heard this. I know how horrible, but I was looking for tangible and practical tips to help me be more in control. Like, get dolls, or save up to buy things daughters like – I don’t know.
The truth is, humbling myself when in need of God is better than trying to do it out of my own power. Continuously calling on Him in prayer is the #1 key to how to be a better dad to my daughter. God is the best girl dad ever. Not only do His teachings from the bible give us perfect examples of how to raise our girls, but He designed our daughters, He holds the power to mold us to be the best dad for them, and He holds our future.
When we pray to God, not only are we presenting our requests to the strongest power in existence on behalf of our daughters and ourselves, but the more time we spend with God in His Word, the more He rubs off on us. Our heart receives His patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and, most importantly, love. We get to share all of that character with our daughters as their fathers. As we call on God in prayer, He draws near, and when finding out how to be a better dad to my daughter, I can’t think of anyone better to have by my side to guide me through each unpredictable season.
2) Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It hit me straight in the chest when an older mentor said to me, “If you don’t let your daughter know how much you love them as you raise them and express what love truly is, they’ll believe the first guy who tells them he loves her when she gets older.”
God clearly defines what love is, using 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. In John 4:16, we also learn that God is love. There is no better gift we can give to our daughters than God himself. A few questions might be: Are we patient with our daughter(s)? Are we kind to our daughter(s)? Each attribute of love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I take as a personal challenge to clothe myself with when navigating how to be a better dad to my daughters. I encourage every dad to ask God to help him richly embody fatherly love through the eyes of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 towards his daughter(s) each day.
3) For You to Grow With Her
Proverbs 22: 6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
From taking them home from the hospital to walking them down the aisle on their wedding day (and even beyond that), our daughters change throughout the seasons. And, how we father our daughters has to grow with them. Though principles on how to raise my daughter better may stay the same, I plan to consider the details of their age, their interests, and how God is uniquely shaping them as time passes. I now aim to get involved in everything (even the super girly things) to grow with her. Knowing my daughters’ hearts allows me to father them better.
As we lead our daughters according to God’s Word, noting their unique personalities and focus throughout the years, God actively uses us to raise our daughters well. When our fatherhood over our girls grows with them, we train them in a way that relates to her and the season of life she’s in. By the grace of God, when we give our daughters off on their wedding day, they won’t depart from everything we’ve lovingly taught them.
Lean on God
Recognizing the sound of my fatherhood over our girls was a little out of tune was the first step in me realizing how to be a better dad to my daughters. But, leaning on God to keep me sound has revealed these three key chords of being a better girl dad: Praying, Loving Them, and Growing With Them.
We can’t predict the future, the challenges that may come with being a father of girls, or even what God has in store for their future. However, I have peace with the unknown because it allows me to be fully dependent on God, the best decision on how to be a better dad to my daughters now and forever.
