Do you notice the fruit of the spirit growing in you? Do you notice yourself walking around filled with love, joy, peace, and patience? Why are you laughing right now?! I get it. It can be hard to see. Let’s make sure we have a working definition of these fruits and then let’s assess where you are with them.

 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” —Galatians 5:22-23

 

 

Are you like me on this or not? When I hear about the fruit of the spirit—sure—it’s a nice idea. But I can’t lie. I tune out a bit. It can fill a bit froufrou to me. Kent Evans recently discussed the fruits for members over at Father on Purpose. He challenged me (and you!) to rethink how we look at them. Let me explain. I’ll give you the cliff-notes version of what Kent taught dads over at FOP. Then leave you with a working definition of the fruits, and some homework to self-assess. Let’s rock and roll.

Stop measuring the fruit of the spirit by the day.

Let’s face it. Most of us wake up one day and we’ll have some patience for that day. We’ll read our devotional in the morning and it’ll stick with us for a few hours. But, what happens that same evening—or the next day? Yep, back to being impatient or sharp with words. Maybe you don’t experience this. It’s just me. Great. Well, writing for myself here, it can feel like one day you’re in the game and one day you’re out of the game. It’s frustrating.

Why should we care about this? Well, aside from Paul making it a thing in Galatians. There’s this idea of being a dad and being an example. Proverbs 22:6 says if we, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it,” This begs the question, what are we “training up” our kids to do? What are your kids seeing in your house? Are they seeing love, joy, peace…self-control…?

Instead, measure in seasons.

Think about it: you don’t plant a crop—and then sit a watch it—waiting for it to grow. It takes times. What’s often the case is, over time, maybe over a few months or a year (maybe longer for some), you can start to see fruit. Here’s the truth: over enough time, we can start to see fruit in your life.

Now, let me be very careful here. We can’t manufacture it. It’s the fruit “of the spirit.” It comes from God. In our day-to-day life, spiritual fruit is often difficult to detect. One day, we may feel patient or kind, but the next we may struggle.

As a follower of Christ, the Holy Spirit is working in us to produce a “harvest” in our lives. So it helps to step back from the day to day and look at our lifestyles—instead of that 15th trip to the grocery store after bedtime when things got too heated. I’ve heard stories. No experience here. None at all.

How do I get more fruit? Give glory to God.

So, you may ask, “Well, if I need the fruit and I want it showing up in my life, then how do I get some?” Well, you have to walk by the spirit. That’s not an easy, daily task. You’ll have some good days and some not-so-good days. But, over time, your lifestyle should reveal more and more fruit.

Consider areas where you’ve seen little growth and try to develop in them. Ultimately, pray about it. Ask God for help. We can’t be winning as a dad and husband and not be showing our wife and kids the spirit working in our lives.

Fruit of the spirit: defined.

Let’s take a moment to make sure we have a working definition for each of the fruits of the spirit.

Love: this word, agape, is everywhere in Paul’s writings. It’s foundational to all of the other gifts. Without love, we won’t express the other gifts.

Joy: the greek root for joy, char, is the same as “grace” or charis. Joy and hope are closely related. Note, this joy Paul’s writing about has nothing to do with your present circumstances. 

Peace: Just as joy isn’t measured by circumstances, peace isn’t measured by absence of war or fighting. Peace here is more about a right relationship with God. Christians are called to be peace-makers.

Patience: this fruit is the ability to basically put up with other people even when it’s not easy. That’s the idea. Remember, God is long-suffering with us humans. We are to be like Him. 

Kindness: God is kind toward us sinners. He pursues sinners to be saved. We are to be kind. Showing God’s love and kindness—so we point ultimately to Him. 

Goodness: this term is about generosity. Here, it’s about being generous toward someone else—especially when it doesn’t come naturally. Remember, it’s called a fruit “of the spirit” for a reason.

Faithfulness: Faith is to be sought after more than any success or recognition in this life. Like you seek that next promotion at work, we should seek to be faithful and seek the other fruit in this list.

Gentleness: this term is all about being teachable. Model this in your home and reap the benefits later in life. Commentaries talk about gentleness as “strength under control.” This term isn’t about being weak. It’s about being more like Jesus. 

Self-control: the idea here is mastery over one’s desires and passions. Controlling oneself is a mark of the Christian life. We show Christ—or not—by how much we can deny ourselves. 

Imagine the dad who models these fruits at home. Or at least intentionally working on growing in them. Imagine how God could use you to lead your home. Imagine how your relationship with your wife and kids would be different if you could pursue these fruits of the spirit. May we be faithful to grow in these fruits, so we show the people around us what it means to follow God.

The mission

Mission 1: Do your own “fruit inspection”. Take a look at each of the fruits of the spirit below and ask yourself where the fruit is or isn’t visible in your life.

Love: Do I show more love to my wife and kids than last year?

Joy: Do I walk around with more joy than this time last year?

Peace: Am I more peaceful compared to a couple of years ago?

Patience: Do I look more patient than I did five years ago?

Kindness: Am I more kind than I was 10 years ago?

Goodness: Is my life marked by goodness?

Faithfulness: Am I faithful to God and others?

Gentleness: Am I more gentle than when I was younger?

Self-control: Do I show more self-control than in the past?

Did you review each of the fruits of the spirit? Now, go through the list with your wife and let her fill it out! Wanna get even crazier? Ask each of your kids to review the fruits of the spirit and grade you 1-10 on each one. Have fun! Remember, we’re doing this to first be faithful ourselves. Then, to help lead in the home. You got this.

Mission 2: Wanna inject grace and peace into your family? Snag the Anger’s Antidote Field Guide free for a limited time. Already have this great eBook? Awesome. Share this facebook post with a friend:

 

 

 

Additional resources for detecting fruit as a dad

Read these posts to continue working through your role as a dad. Also, you’ll gain insight into what to look for and teach your kids when it comes to detecting fruit in your kids’ lives.

 

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