Divorce rate statistics among Christians who attend church regularly are around 30%. While it’s not the national average of 50%, it’s still too high. God’s intention for marriage was a 100% success rate (Mark 10:9).
But if I stay here with you, girl; Things just couldn’t be the same
‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now; And this bird you cannot change
Those lyrics may sound cool when Skynyrd sang them and may even be fun to sing at the top of your lungs when you’re alone in the car on a long commute. But the idea behind these lyrics is full of crap when it comes to marriage.
3 reasons the divorce rate is so high and what you can do to avoid it:
Infidelity.
There are many different reasons why people stray outside of marriage (none of them good ones), but they often all have the same result—broken trust and broken marriages. Infidelity usually starts as an innocent friendship. No one wakes up and thinks, You know what, after I run some errands, I’m going to cheat on my wife today. It’s a slow fade. If unguarded, friendships can lead to emotional affairs that give way to physical ones.
The best way to not step into this trap is to avoid all temptation. All temptation. If you’re really attracted to a “friend,” don’t be friends with her. Also, get rid of any social media that leads to “curiosity.” Tattoo “I love my wife” backward on your forehead, so you read it every time you look in the mirror. Wear a ski mask when leaving the house, so women (and probably small children) are terrified to be around you. But seriously, you do whatever needs to be done when you’re married. When avoiding Potiphar’s wife didn’t send a clear enough message to her, Joseph literally ran away from her to escape an affair (Genesis 39:7, 10-12).
Finance Struggles.
Money, money, money. Not being on the same page with how the money is handled can lead to some big problems. Everything from spending habits, financial goals, and even who makes the most money has been known to cause issues. So, you’ve got to work this one out intentionally.
Hopefully, this was a topic you talked about before you got married. If not, start now. And don’t just talk in terms of numbers; speak about values. Start with financial goals for your marriage. Find goals you both agree on. At what age do we want to retire? When would we like to be debt-free? Knowing the finish line will help with the day-to-day decisions of getting there.
Lack of Communication.
Failure to communicate like adults is a big contributor to the rising divorce rate mainly because most dad-vocabulary is limited to one-word responses and mere grunts, this one hits home. In most relationships, one or both partners are good at giving the cold shoulder, silent treatment, backhanded comments, or passive-aggressive behavior when we want to get our point across. What these immature responses communicate to your wife is that you’re upset. An easier way to do that is to simply say the words, “I’m upset.”
You have to talk about what you need and how you feel for your wife to understand you. You don’t have to hold hands and look deep into each other’s eyes while you share your heart, but unless you say something, you can’t expect her to get what’s going on with you fully.
In the end, it’s up to you.
Most marital success boils down to commitment. Are you all the way in? If you go into marriage thinking a divorce is an option, it will be. But if you are willing to make sacrifices and choose to love your wife every day, even when it’s hard, you’ve got a great chance of remaining until death do we part.
