Two of my daughter’s best friends are heading for their weddings later this year. That’s exciting because these girls are like adopted daughters to us. And, as my wife and I watch them prepare for this milestone with their fiancés, we pray that their relationships will be built on solid, biblical marriage principles.
As a godly dad, I’m guessing that’s what you want for your kids too. Whether you have sons or daughters—or both—you want them to find a spouse who will help them grow spiritually and learn to love Jesus even more. But here’s the thing: Before your kids embrace biblical marriage principles, they need to see them in your life first.
Live Out Biblical Marriage
Your relationship with your wife will go a long way toward helping your kids know what marriage should look like. And it can’t just involve words. You’ve got to live out those lessons each and every day.
That means you’ve got to understand and apply biblical principles for marriage right now. You can start by affirming God’s design for marriage. Despite what the culture might say, the biblical standard for marriage is one man and one woman.
From God’s perspective, that’s the only true definition of marriage.
Five Biblical Marriage Truths You Can’t Forget
From there, it’s a matter of knowing how to treat your wife—and your marriage—with the proper respect. To help with that, I’ve listed five things every married guy needs to remember. Keep these truths in mind, and you’ll be on your way to living out biblical marriage principles that will bless your spouse and encourage your kids.
1. Your marriage isn’t JUST about you.
Marriage was God’s idea, and the primary purpose of marriage is to reflect His love for the world (Ephesians 5:22-28). So, first and foremost, your marriage is about honoring Him.
Beyond that, it’s about your wife. That means putting her needs first, ahead of your own. You need to be her biggest fan, and you need to avoid doing anything that makes her feel “less than.” Above all, you need to pray for her regularly.
2. You CAN’T make it on your own.
My wife loves coffee and has a sizeable collection of mugs to prove it. One of my favorites has a woman’s headshot beside the words, “She was comforted by the knowledge that they were helpless without her.”
It always makes me smile, maybe because it’s also more accurate than I’d sometimes like to admit. I would be helpless without my wife, and if you’re honest, you know the feeling.
God designed husbands and wives to be partners (Genesis 2:18-25). And while your ultimate purpose and satisfaction can only be found in Jesus, your wife completes you as a person. While it’s true that some men are called to be single, it’s also true that every man who gets married desperately needs his spouse.
3. You’re playing for keeps.
Another important biblical marriage principle relates to its covenant nature. In biblical days, covenants were binding legal arrangements between individuals. Those agreements carried weight, including consequences if you failed to honor your end of the bargain.
In God’s design, marriage is a covenant built to last. Jesus even warned His listeners about treating it with contempt or negligence (Matthew 19:4-6). As a husband, it’s up to you to protect and nurture your marriage. Don’t look for an escape hatch at the first sign of trouble. Stay focused and avoid tinkering with temptations that can drag you down.
4. You’re called to raise a new generation of believers.
When Jewish families celebrate Passover, they observe a precise pattern of questions and answers. The children ask the questions, while the eldest man in the house provides the responses. It’s designed to remind the Jews of how God led them out of Egypt. But it also highlights the ongoing role of parents—especially fathers—in teaching their kids about who God is (Deuteronomy 6:20-25; Psalm 78:1-8).
Parents are still the primary spiritual mentors of their children, and dads still play a vital role in teaching the next generation to love God and passionately pursue His purposes. Unfortunately, many couples deal with the pain of infertility, but for those blessed with children, raising them well is an essential biblical marriage principle.
5. Marriage is more complicated than it looks.
If you’ve been married for a minute, no one has to tell you about this biblical principle for marriage. But while we know the facts in our heads, it’s not always easy to embrace them with our hearts.
Part of that tension can be traced to what we see and hear. Every “perfect” post on social media makes us feel like we’re missing the mark. Every relationship problem finds its resolution in a three-minute song, a 60-minute television episode, or a two-hour movie.
Meanwhile, passages like 1 Corinthians 13—the “love chapter”—remind us that marriage requires a lifetime of investment and unwavering commitment. In other words, marriage is hard work. But it’s so worth it!
Seeing things through God’s eyes
As you think about biblical marriage principles, here’s one more thing to remember: You don’t have to be perfect. We’re all human, and we’re all going to make mistakes. That’s true for you and your spouse. So, focus on patience and grace while staying light on judgment and expectations.
But while you don’t need polished perfection, you do need proper perspective. That would be God’s perspective. You need to see things—including your marriage—the way He sees them.
The only way to do that is to dig into His Word and adopt the biblical marriage principles you find there.
Are you a father looking to disciple your children? Take the Godly Dad Quiz to see how you’re doing.
