What is the Biblical Definition of a Father?

The first time I held my oldest child, I was smitten. I was also grateful—and more than a little overwhelmed because I didn’t know how to be a dad or what the biblical definition of a father even was. I didn’t know what to do and what not to do. The learning curve was more like a hairpin turn. If you’re a dad, you know what I mean. None of us knew what we were signing up for. That’s what makes embracing a biblical definition of fatherhood so important. In His grace and mercy, God has given us His Word to help us sort through what godly fatherhood requires. It’s our instruction manual as dads.

Leading and Learning

As a man, you’re called to be the spiritual leader of your home. Part of that leadership means learning to be the father God created you to be. It’s not an easy task, but it’s a job that deserves your whole heart.

Like a lot of areas of life, Scripture offers a ton of advice and guidance. The list below identifies ways you can live out a biblical definition of fatherhood by looking at what the Bible says about your heavenly Father. Sure, you’ll make mistakes. You’ll drop the ball a time or two—or more. But with God’s help, you can avoid many negative outcomes that plague families today. 

You can become all He created you to be as a dad. And that’s good news!

The Biblical Definition of a Father

A biblical definition of fatherhood begins and ends with the example set by God the Father. By imitating His character, you can become a godly dad. Here are six essential attributes of God from Scripture that you can replicate here on earth.

1) Accept your kids.

Whether you’re raising sons or daughters or a combination of both, your kids need to know that they are loved and accepted no matter what. They need unconditional affirmation. They need to believe that you are always on their side and that you are their biggest fan.

If you wonder what that looks like, look no further than your heavenly Father. He adopted you (Romans 8:14-16). He made you one of His own. And He accepts you even when you’re a hot mess as a man, a husband, and a dad. You need to feel His approval—and your kids need the same from you.

14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,[b] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

–Romans 8:14-16

2) Set the right example.

Sometimes, it’s tempting to think that kids will “figure it out” when it comes to life. Unfortunately, that’s lazy parenting. As a dad, you have a responsibility to show your kids how life works. They need the wisdom and the experience of your wins and losses—even if they don’t act like it sometimes.

God set the ultimate example and encouraged His people to imitate what they saw in Him. He told them to be holy because He is holy (Leviticus 11:45; Leviticus 19:2; 1 Peter 1:15-16). Talk about a high bar! Your imperfect standard will be a few notches down that scale, but you can be sure of one thing. As a biblical father, you are setting an example, and your kids will follow it. So, make it a good one!

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.

–1 Peter 1:15-16

3) Love without limits.

This seems like a no-brainer, but most dads know it’s more complicated than it sounds. If we’re not careful, we can use our love like a carrot on a stick to manipulate our kids. Most of the time, we do it without even realizing it, but it sends a message about earning love that our children hear loud and clear.

Of course, God never holds out on us when it comes to love. I’m drawn to how one translation of 1 John 3:1 expresses His extravagance: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” (NIV). “Lavished” is a strong word, but it still only scratches the surface of the love God offers. We need to love our kids the same way.

Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy

Leviticus 19:2

4) Discipline well.

If you’re like me, conflict is not your favorite thing. I will travel a thousand miles out of my way emotionally and mentally just to avoid a fight. But sometimes, as a dad, you’ve got to bring the heat.

Again, when you look at what the Bible says about fatherhood, disciplining your children is part of God’s equation. He disciplined His people throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, the writer of Proverbs understood the importance of discipline (Proverbs 13:24). In the New Testament, the writer of Hebrews admitted that it’s no fun, but it is necessary (Hebrews 12:5-11). You never want to discipline unjustly or out of anger. But proper, godly discipline produces maturity.

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

–Proverbs 13:24

5) Be your family’s provider.

One of a father’s great responsibilities is to be the provider for his family (1 Timothy 5:8). While this involves making sure everyone’s physical needs are met, it also includes their emotional and spiritual needs. You are a steward of God’s good gifts, and He has given you the privilege of using those gifts for His glory and your family’s benefit.

Of course, God is the great Provider. The apostle Paul noted that God supplies all our needs, so we can be content as we rest in Him (Philippians 4:10-19). The greatest thing He provided was salvation through His Son, Jesus. At heart, God is a giver (John 3:16). Nurturing a biblical definition of fatherhood requires you be a giver and provider as well.

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

–1 Timothy 5:8

6) Nurture strong connections.

In Romans 8:15 and Galatians 4:6, Paul referred to God as “Abba.” It’s an Aramaic word that children often use to address their fathers. Some suggest it’s roughly equivalent to the English term “Daddy,” but it certainly implies a closeness and intimacy that earthly fathers should imitate.

We are created in God’s image, and He wants us to reflect Him well to the world. Likewise, DNA ensures that our children share our image, and we want them to reflect our faith and values to the world. For that to happen, though, you have to be intentional about building relationships and nurturing connections. You have to be “Abba” to them just like God is “Abba” to you. If you can do that, you set them up for success and can send them into the world with a true blessing.

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

–Romans 8:15

 

Embrace Biblical Fatherhood

As you think about embracing a biblical definition of fatherhood, keep this in mind. You are not a dad by accident. God knew about this long before your kids were born. In fact, He had it all planned out long before you were born.

God gave you these sons and daughters on purpose. He knew that you were exactly what they would need. And, honestly, He knew you’d need them just as much.

God doesn’t make mistakes—and He absolutely didn’t make a mistake with you as a father. Take comfort in that truth. Let it encourage you when times get tough. And let it drive you back to Him and His definition of fatherhood each day.

Are you a dad looking to dive deeper into God’s word? Are you ready to be the godly dad the Lord called you to be? Our free Bible App reading plans are built for fathers like you. Learn more.