Anger can be a frequent response to the stresses of life. When we let our anger triggers get out of control, it can lead to destructive patterns that can damage our relationships and legacy. Identifying anger triggers for dads is the first step towards removing anger from your life.
Anger Triggers for Dads
1. The Daily Rush.
Which part of your day makes you lose your temper most frequently? Is it the morning scramble, the bedtime drama, or the after-school bickering? Wait, am I the only one who has these in my life? If you find yourself seething consistently during one of these routines, consider: how might you adjust them to bring peace?
2. Constant Noise.
As you get home from work and try to clear your head, does the dog barking, kids playing, music blaring, and your phone buzzing put you on edge? Noise, even when it isn’t harmful in context, can be the reason that you feel chaotic, which leads to your angry flare-ups.
3. Unrealistic expectations.
Saturday morning used to be for snoozing and cartoons. Now you have a list of yard work and chores a mile long. How is your honey-do list or unrealistic expectations leading to your irritation?
4. Interruption.
At home, at a restaurant, in the boardroom, or as you tell your latest story – interruption can be frustrating. It can make you feel less significant or undervalued. For some, this can be a frequent irritation and lead to an uncontrolled anger response.
5. Being corrected.
Nagging, especially in front of others, may leave you feeling inadequate, bring latent self-esteem issues to the surface, or be just plain annoying. This can cause you to overreact with bitterness and resentment.
6. Unfair Treatment.
As a dad, you’ve probably told your kids countless times that life isn’t fair (while they fight over screen time, curfews and the last doughnut). But injustices as an adult can be just as hard to swallow. Think through the last time you experienced inequality and how your pulse raced or your fists clenched in anger.
7. Disrespect of your possessions.
You work hard to provide, and it’s fair to say you like to keep things a certain way. A common trigger for anger is when the carelessness of others ruins your things. Kids spill their food, cars get scratched, clothes are stained, tools get broken. Tempers get lost. “This is why we can’t have nice things!”
8. Disrespect of personal space.
Every dad at some point reaches the end of his rope when he is tired of being a human jungle gym, sick of being relegated to the “man cave” (dusty corner of the basement), or finding a new crop of legos strewn across his office. When your personal space is invaded, do you quickly blow your top?
9. Being lied to.
Dishonestly makes you lose trust in those around you. And if you didn’t see it coming, you could feel like a fool. It’s more common to think about raging over big lies about money or infidelity. For some of us, even the small half-truths are enough to set us off.
10. Being ignored.
When you are treated with contempt, especially by those you love, it’s easy to skip over emotions like grief or worry. They can be harder to process. Many dads explode with anger if they sense they are being overlooked.
A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Anger Triggers from Your Feelings
Anger triggers for dads make us boil over the top. Understanding the feeling or situation that triggers your anger will give you a sense of control to begin to rid your life of anger more regularly.
11. Feeling frustrated.
Sometimes it’s a delay in traffic that makes you late for a meeting. Or not being able to solve that home repair issue without yet another trip to the hardware store. Sometimes it’s the stress of finding too many mismatched shoes in the entryway that tips you over the edge. How well can you control those anger triggers in the face of everyday frustrations?
12. Feeling invalidated.
You want to influence your home, community, and workplace. When the new guy at work gets the project before you or your wife uses her friend’s advice instead of yours, how quickly do you criticize the project manager or friend as incompetent?
13. Feeling threatened.
Does your wife undermine your parenting decisions? Or does your boss use ultimatums to “motivate” you? Feeling threatened is an anger trigger for dads and it makes sense. As men, we’re especially sensitive to threats. At the same, sometimes it’s our pride that is threatened to cause us to over react. How often does your “fight” reaction rear its ugly head?
14. Feeling disrespected.
Back-talking child? Rebellious teenager? Defiant employee? Disrespect is a common trigger for anger because many men crave respect.
15. Feeling rejected.
If you perceive you or your ideas are rejected, you may recall painful childhood memories of rejection. This deep hurt may manifest outwardly as anger as you continue to mask your more vulnerable emotions.
16. Feeling powerless.
As men, we love to be problem-solvers. However, when we meet roadblocks that we cannot overcome, like financial burdens, seeing those we love struggle with health concerns, or watching our kids get left out at school – it’s easy to turn to anger to burn off steam.
Tired of living with constant anger?
Expressing your anger may give you a temporary surge of feeling in control. However powerful you may feel, it’s not worth anger triggers for dads controlling your life. The good news is anger is something you can overcome. God’s Holy Spirit inside us can lead us to peace and joy.
The Anger Free Dad online anger management course can help you learn how to root out your anger and become a calmer and more patient dad. All from the comfort of your couch (yes, the one with those grape juice stains on it).
If you are ready to make a change, get our online anger management course to help you get your anger under control.
Learn how to control anger and live in peace. Your kids (and your wife!) will thank you for it.
Are you heading in the right direction as a dad? Take the Godly Dad Quiz to find out where you’re going.
