Looking for ways to improve your marriage? That’s easy . . . come up with two or three suggestions for dinner every day. It’s as simple as that. Dinner suggestions score every time!

Honestly, I wish it were that simple. But, if you’ve been married for more than a minute, you know that improving your marriage takes more investment than picking between pot roast and the sandwich shop down the street. And as a Christian man, you have a responsibility to better your marriage.

Follow the leader

When I talked to my wife about this topic, she understandably had some great ideas. And, thankfully, many of them were on my radar already. But one thing she mentioned really caught my attention. 

She said a husband can improve a marriage by being the spiritual leader of the home, as long as he doesn’t ignore the partnership God designed.

Way back in Eden, God brought Adam and Eve together. But while He gave Adam authority as a husband (see 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23), He also emphasized that both of them were created in His image (Genesis 1:27) and that they were made to be mutual helpers (Genesis 2:18). 

Spouses are called to be partners who work together, navigating the “for better or for worse” in life. When guys treat their wives with that kind of honor and respect, it’s a huge step toward bettering their marriage.

Getting practical

Recognizing your partnership is kind of like an umbrella for marriage and a godly home. It’s a general principle that covers a variety of practical actions. In the space below, I’ve listed seven of those actions you can start doing today to better your marriage. 

These aren’t complicated, but they are effective. If you’re seeking ways to improve your marriage, these basic ideas can make a world of difference.

Pray for your wife—and with her.

My wife mentioned being a spiritual leader, and that means praying for your wife on a regular basis. Pay attention to the needs she expresses and lift those up to the Father. If you’re not sure where to start, simply ask her how you can pray for her. 

But I’d also encourage you to pray with your wife. Let her hear you talking to God on her behalf. The bonds built as you pray for her and with her will better your marriage.

Learn to communicate more effectively.

Yes, that might involve talking about your feelings, but it’s worth the discomfort because it makes you a better husband! Besides, a lot of times, a listening ear will do the trick. Your wife needs to feel heard and understood more than she needs a dialogue.

Communication comes in all kinds of forms. The important thing is to avoid trying to “fix” what you hear. If your wife wants advice, she will ask for it. But whether you speak or listen, communication is key to bettering your marriage.

Do things for her . . . just because.

I’ll admit that this one wasn’t on my radar until my wife mentioned it, even though I often try to do things for her. I’ll run the vacuum, fold some laundry, or load and unload the dishwasher to take something off her plate. I don’t do it to win “husband points.” I just like doing things for her.

It goes deeper than that, though. My wife’s primary love language is “acts of service,” so she appreciates even the smallest gesture of kindness. She feels loved when I show her how much I love her, along with telling her that I love her. I think most wives are like that—regardless of their love language. 

Never stop dating her.

Remember when you and your wife first started dating? It might have been a little awkward, but you couldn’t stop thinking about her. And you couldn’t wait to spend more time with her. You were willing to do almost anything to win her heart.

Unfortunately, men can lose that passion over time. It’s not that we love our wives less. It’s just that the pressures of life distract us from stoking the fires that once burned naturally. Don’t let that happen. Keep dating your wife. Whether it’s an evening out or a quiet weekend getaway, better your marriage by giving her your time and your undivided attention. 

Brag on her.

A few years ago, I caught myself focusing on my wife’s supposed weaknesses—especially in regard to how I felt neglected. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t accurate. So, I determined to assume the best in her instead of assuming the worst.

One way guys can do that is by bragging on their wives more. That might include telling her how much you appreciate something or speaking well of her to others. The key is making sure she hears your heart and knows it’s sincere. The Bible says a lot about our speech. One verse even compares fitting words to golden apples in a silver setting (Proverbs 25:11). When your words are golden, you’re going to better your marriage.

Be her biggest cheerleader.

Along with your verbal support, your wife needs your emotional support. She needs you to be her biggest fan. If you fulfill that role, your marriage will grow stronger. 

You’ve got dreams and goals. Every human does, including your spouse. So take the time to learn what she cares about and what she wants to accomplish. Then, pour your energy into helping her make those dreams come true. Remember, you’re a team—and good teammates make those around them better.

Keep your promises.

Several years ago, I broke a promise to my wife. She had asked me not to do something, and I blatantly did it anyway. The hurt in her eyes and the damage it caused our relationship is something I’ll never forget. It wasn’t a moral failure or anything like that. It was just a lack of consideration, but it took her a long time to heal.

One way to better your marriage is to honor your promises. Whether it’s the vows you made on your wedding day, being on time for an event, or doing something around the house, your wife needs to know she can count on you. Show her that you love her by demonstrating integrity. Be a man of your word.

Second place is the best place

Bettering your marriage means making your relationship a priority. While God requires first place in your life, your marriage should be No. 2 on that list. Like the Olympics, allow your spouse to stand on a pedestal lower than the Lord, but higher than anything or anyone else.

Here’s a fact: The devil may never seduce you through traditional “vices.” But he will distract you with “good” things like caring for your kids, leadership positions at church, or striving for a better paycheck. Those things aren’t bad, but they should never stand between you and your wife.

Before we got married, my wife and I spent a lot of time apart. So, we wrote letters—actual physical pieces of paper sealed in envelopes and delivered to a mailbox. 

At the bottom of each letter, we drew a triangle. My name was at one bottom corner, and her name was at the other. The top corner was reserved for God. The idea was that the closer each of us drew to God, the closer we would draw to each other—even in a long-distance relationship.

As a man and a husband, God has to claim first place in your life. But keeping your wife in second place will help you better your marriage and strengthen it to last a lifetime.