Some of us grew up idolizing our dads. Trying to shave just like him. Learning his secret grilling techniques. Sure that he would have the answer to everything from baseball trivia to stock advice. We even learned how to lay under the car and go, “Hmmm?”

Others of us have more complicated relationships with our dads, leaving tender scars that have taken years to heal.

Dads carry a big responsibility because how we lead and interact with our kids is likely how they will (at least at first) understand and experience God the Father. This is also a big opportunity. Being a Christian dad doesn’t always come naturally, but learning to lead as a godly father is an investment worth making.

God’s Word provides a roadmap we can follow to become a Godly Father. With the help of the Holy Spirit, you can step up and be the leader in your home.

1. Be Present

Spending time with your kids is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. One of the most significant ways Jesus invested in his closest disciples was by being present. He was there for those day-to-day moments while they ministered, ate, did laundry, and walked hundreds of dusty miles.

New research[1] has revealed that “paternal involvement positively impacts child health and development.” We shouldn’t be surprised. This confirms the truth found in Scripture.

A few verses to consider:

  • “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 11:19
  • “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

2. Be An Example Worth Following

Kids notice everything. That’s good news and bad news. From how you spend your time to what team you cheer for, how you take your coffee in the morning. (Sidenote: Watch your language as you hit your next traffic jam!)

You can model what it looks like to be an authentic Christ follower for your kids. Not a perfect one. An authentic one, flaws and all. This can look like practicing forgiveness, submitting to authority, and encouraging your family to grow in their faith.

A few verses to consider:

  • “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
  • “Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” Titus 2:6-8

3. Be Compassionate

Kids at any age flourish when their homes are a haven from the world. Toddlers need to know there’s forgiveness when they use sharpies on the wall. Teens need to experience acceptance from their dads when their friends are in the throes of adolescence. Young adults work hard to earn their parent’s respect.

The story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) is a picture of a dad who welcomes his wayward son back with open arms after a devastating betrayal. Jesus told this story to help us understand our Heavenly Father desires His kids to run back to Him – no matter what.

Nurture your kids with compassion so that they know the safety of unconditional love.

A few verses to consider:

  • “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
  • “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” Psalm 103:13

4. Be Firm

It’s natural to want to be the “fun dad.” This is especially true if you feel guilty about working or being away from your family. You may want to come home and enjoy time with your kids. However, the Bible is clear that a father’s role includes disciplining their children. Don’t leave your wife to do all the heavy lifting.

Just like the coaches know how to push their athletes to achieve their best, your instruction (and sometimes punishment) is fundamental for your kids to cultivate Godly character.

Use your unique opportunity to invest in your kids through loving correction.

A few verses to consider:

  • “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:17
  • “And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Hebrews 12:5-6
  • “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

5. Be Prayerful

As dads, we want to be able to protect and provide for our families. The strength to do this well is found partly through a deepening relationship with God through prayer.

Pray for your kids, pray with your kids, and teach your kids to pray. As earthly fathers with our struggles and stressors, we can depend on God in prayer to give us wisdom and discernment.

A few verses to consider:

  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-9
  • “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” 1 John 5:14

Ready to become the dad God calls you to be?

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