During challenging times, dads have choices to make. The current pandemic we’re walking through presents us with some decisions that have immediate, real-world consequences. How or whether we will travel, snag groceries, go to work, or go out in public at all represent alternatives that carry newfound significance. Tough calls.
But, in some cases, the choice is binary. There’s a clear good choice. One that honors God, helps our family, and leads us to a place of greater peace and stability.
I was on a group call recently with some friends. We were discussing how COVID-19 is disrupting our lives, and in some cases, quite significantly. One gentleman whose income is connected largely to public speaking was staring a massive loss of income in the face, given a number of event cancellations. A number of the men on the call who are dads were trading stories about challenges our kids are facing right now and how we were struggling with when, how and if we should intervene or offer counsel.
As the call progressed, I listened intently to each man’s thoughts and concerns. I started jotting down word pairs. I was hearing–in their words and tone of voice–a unique and refreshing perspective. These men, while befuddled and honestly searching for wisdom, were not panicking. They were not without hope. They are men of faith who were reacting differently to the world around them than most people. I was struck by the contrast.
As us dads try to work our way through this challenge–or any others, for that matter–we will be faced with some of these same choices. If we are to lead well and be the godly fathers that we’re called to be, the choice is clear and obvious but not always easy to make.
Let’s explore these word-pairs together and see if inside them we can find the strength to take the right path.
#1 We must choose CONFIDENCE instead of CONCERN.
We know, deep down, that God is in control. Jesus promised to always be with us (Matt. 28:20) and Paul reminds us that God will work all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). That doesn’t mean we won’t experience pandemics, but it does mean we can walk confidently through it with Him leading us all the way.
#2 We must choose WISDOM instead of WORRY.
It’s ironic that the fear of the Lord is cited as the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 9:10). To counteract the pull of fear and worry, we must have a fear that’s rightly placed. Squarely in God. We cast off fears in this world – trouble, sorrow, loss, pain, or even death – to gain the wisdom that God would want for us to have.
#3 We must choose OTHERS instead of OURSELVES.
We are most like Jesus when we’re putting the needs of others ahead of our own. Paul reminded us of this when he wrote, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil. 2:4). Let’s not become self-centered when trouble strikes, but instead, raise our eyes to see who else needs help.
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#4 We must choose JOY instead of JEALOUSY.
When trouble hits us hard, we often compare our plight to others and become envious of those with an easier situation. We think, “Sure, that rich guy’s telling us our jobs will eventually come back, but how do I eat in the meantime?” A joyful heart is good medicine (Prov. 17:22), and if we ever needed good medicine, it’s during these tough times.
#5 We must choose PATIENCE instead of PANIC.
Romans reminds us to be patient in tribulation (Rom. 12:12). It can be easy to write that off as if it’s written by someone who just doesn’t understand suffering. But, this is Paul writing, from a jail cell! He’s the one who was beaten, shipwrecked, cold, naked, and in danger from many corners. He didn’t panic and neither should we.
#6 We must choose SERVICE instead of SELFISHNESS.
One of the fastest remedies for selfishness is finding someone to serve. Dive in. If you’re healthy and able, especially during emergency situations, there’s always someone you can serve. It might be your neighbor, church, a coworker, or a family member. Find someone who needs something dive into serving them (Mark 10:45).
#7 We must choose TITHING instead of TIGHTENING.
I was impressed by one of the men on my group call. Despite his business downturn, he’d just written a tithe check from his latest receipts. During economic hardships, we must remember to place our trust in God for our sustenance (Ps. 56:3-4). Continue supporting His work through your local church, especially when financial trouble hits. This is what biblical manhood does with money.
#8 We must choose DILIGENCE instead of DISTRACTION.
Like many others, this extra time at home has been interesting. I’ve tried to be as productive as I can be, though doing that in a home with five boys can be a challenge. Yet, if we have fewer meetings and road trips, this could be a golden opportunity (Prov. 21:5) to tackle some great stuff, if we don’t waste time mindlessly entertaining ourselves.
#9 We must choose GENEROSITY instead of GREEDINESS.
When people start coming for your stuff – whether that’s your income, your job, or the last roll of toilet paper at Wal-Mart – the instant reaction is to clutch and grab. What’s mine is mine. But, this is precisely when we must be marked by generosity. Let’s live with open hands and open doors with faith in a God who supplies all our needs (Phil. 4:19).
#10 We must choose RATIONALITY instead of RASHNESS.
We may look back and find that this particular pandemic was the worst thing ever. However, odds are, we’ll see that while it was serious and significant, it did not usher in a new doomsday scenario. We need to wisely sift the information we’re being given and not rush to judgment (Matt. 10:16). Let’s allow calm and rationality to govern the day.
#11 We must choose INTENTIONALITY instead of INDIFFERENCE.
When we’re blindsided by circumstances, we can walk around in a bit of a haze. But, we need to gather ourselves and realize the opportunity we’ve been handed (Eph. 5:16). We might have more time to pray, catch up with an old friend or pour into our families. Whatever it is, let’s seize the opportunity to use this time intentionally.
#12 We must choose FAITH instead of FEAR.
If you’re not a believer in Jesus Christ, times like these would be deeply troubling. But, for those of us with Jesus as our hope and our salvation, we have a rock we can rest on and a future we can look forward to. Faith and fear can’t coexist. We have the assurance of a future with God, no matter what our present circumstances try to tell us (Heb. 11:1).
I hope you see these choices clearly. For those of us who have placed our eternal destinies in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, these aren’t really choices at all. They’re single-option selections that we can pick with all the confidence in the world.
We look to the reminder that the Apostle Paul gave us in Romans 8:
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” (Rom. 8:38)
To this we could add: not even a global pandemic.
Amen!
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